It is now just over two years since Steve died and on his memorial page we added a quote which we thought Steve would have liked and agreed with :

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we are apart…I’ll always be with you
A.A. Milne

I do now feel much braver and stronger and I am finally coming to terms with Steve’s death.   It has not always been easy but Joanna and I have had an extraordinary two years supported  by exceptional friends and family who have been central to our recovery.  Established friends,  reunited  friends and new friends – I could never have imagined how much people would support us. It is almost overwhelming. Thank you

In 2 years I have traveled  across the US  (from New York to Hawaii) and traveled to  England, Scotland, Wales and Costa Rica.   I have taken many train rides including  the Zephyr from Chicago to San Francisco,  a stream train ride in Wales, and trains to take my father and me  from Eastbourne to Wales . The latter is not a well known trip  but is full  of  challenges when accompanied by  a wheel chair and 4 pieces of luggage!

In the last 2 years I have swam so many lengths I had to buy a watch to keep count, seen many, many films, and hiked many miles (including the seven sisters several times), walked all over the place (did you know that it is 6 miles return from the harbor to Eastbourne?), visited museums, been to Zoos in all 3 countries (including finally the Jersey Zoo founded by Gerald Durrell),  been to plays, attended a music festival,  been to street fairs, played billiards unsuccessfully in New York, and probably a whole lot more I am missing.

 I have done a variety of volunteer work – packed food, picked fruit, counted fruit, served food, planted trees,  bought books, and done inventories.  I followed Judy on her Costa Rica Dog and Cat feeding day. I have managed to do the volunteer work in my home and keep  4 out of 5 cats feed and alive (the 5th passing peacefully at a good age!).

I have sorted out paperwork, downsized with some success and reorganized (with more success). I have tried to find all the information that Steve died with and I am thankful for all the analytic experience I have as it has come in very helpful.

All of this has been part of my journey to rediscovery and recovery.

Joanna is in her second year at NYU medical with very little spare time. In 2018 we did the San Jose Walk together and spent Christmas in Hawaii. We will both spend time in Australia this year but not together and for separate reasons. Mine to see friends and Joanna for medical school. I am looking forward to seeing my friends there.

To give back I  took a class in the UK on suicide prevention and participated in 2 “out of Darkness” walks   that many of your supported by raising money and/or walking. Two walks in 2 continents and a total around  $8,000 – A massive Thank you.  I am supported the San Jose walk this year so please keep the 20th October 2019 open.

See our slideshows! ->

Always in our hearts

Steve – Its been two years now and A.A Milne and you were right – I am much stronger and braver than I thought.  Your death left me with such mixed feelings that it will take me a lifetime to sort out.   Strangely, I  feel you with me – even though I would have laughed at that before your death.    I am convinced I  heard you laughing when Tiger’s ashes came back in a beautiful wooden box compared to yours in a  plastic container – you always thought the cats were treated better than the humans in our house.

One thought on “Home”

  1. Ann a beautiful account of your journey of the last 2 years. I also think of you and Steve often. I continue to pray for your peace and health and happiness. Love Marilyn

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